White Man Can’t Jump: The Zack Greinke Saga

     I will never fault a man for enjoying a beautiful day with his pals.  Usually these days involve beer, some type of fire warmed meat, and a nice doseof athletic frivolity.  One thing leads to another and that usually leads to a pick-up basketball game, we have all been there.  Here is the difference, you and I are not professional athletes who are paid millions of dollars to keep our bodies healthy.  If I crack a rib, the only person who really cares is my wife……and probably my mom (Love you Mom, Happy Birthday yesterday!!).  This is one of the stupidest things that I have ever attempted to wrap my brain around.  Zack Greinke was probably going to be our opening day starter, not any more.  Our very own Billy Hoyle (Woody Harrelson in WMCJ), went up for a rebound and came down with a case of dumb-ass.  At least Woody…..I mean, Billy, was able to acknowledge his limitations. 

     Greinke will miss his first 3 scheduled starts of the regular season.  Today an MRI revealed that he has a hairline fracture on his 7th rib and a bone bruise on the 8th rib.  How stupid is this guy?  I mean clearly he is no Plaxico Burress, but did he seriously not think about getting hurt playing a pick-up basketball game?!?!?!  Was he trying to impress his wife?  What?  Zack, I am trying to understand, but it is really difficult.  Do you realize what you’ve done?!?!!?  

     I have dreamed of watching ZG throw on opening day since December.  Now, that dream is nothing more than most of my dreams.  Dark, cold, and full of zombies.  All of a sudden, the Brewers have a starting rotation problem.  Way to go Zack.  Hope that pulling your circa 1994 Micahel Jordan sneakers out of moth balls was worth it dude.  You are going to have to make this up to all of us.  Bring us a World Series trophy and we will call it even.

     Round-Up 

  • The Brewers got throttled today, by the final score of 1-7.  We had a fun little bench clearing incident in the 6th inning.  It would be nice if we could play them ONE TIME without picking a fight……I’m directing that towards you Prince.  Fielder hit a solo shot in the 4th inning, our lone run.  Just in case you want to have some salt rubbed in an open wound, Tony Gwyn Jr. hit a homer in aDodgers jersey.  Oh, you want some lemon in their too….we traded him for Jody Gerut.  True story. 

 

  • Tomorrow the Crew will attempt to play baseball against the Arizona D-Backs.  This game will be played at?  You guessed it, 2:05 CST.  Hey, if you want to win the chance of a lifetime, check Venom Strikes.  Just check out this link and follow it’s instructions, believe it or not the grand prize involves the Brewers.  While you are there it could not hurt to read up on the enemy.  Things could really be worse for us, sorry D-backs…. 

 

  • Chris Dickerson is certainly not doing himself any favors at the moment.  Currently he is tied for worst batting average on the team, Luis Cruz is the other part of the .188 club.  Dickerson can probably feel the cold hands of Triple-A pressing down on him right now.  It looks like Carlos Gomez is going to make it through the spring.  And guys like Caleb Gindl and Brandon Boggs are threatening to banish Dickerson to Nashville for the month of April.  

 

  • Today’s overall pitching performances were pretty mediocre.  Sean Green looks great and Takashi Saito looked a little rusty.  Other than that, it was pretty much what you would expect from a 7-1 loss.  Saito took the loss today, but believe me when I tell you that the game would have stayed in check if not for Eulogio De La Cruz throwing battin practice to the heart of the Dodgers lineup.  That kid was sweating worse than Barry Bonds in front of a grand jury. 

 

If you haven’t given us the “thumbs up” on Facebook yet, now’s your chance.  Please feel free to also follow me on Twitter, @LouciferOlsen.  Good night Brewskies and Brewskettes!!  

Topics: Billy Hoyle, Brandon Boggs, Brewers, Brewers Bullpen, Brewers Hitting, Caleb Gindl, Carlos Gomez, Casey McGehee, Chris Dickerson, Eulogio De La Cruz, Jody Gerut, Luis Cruz, Plaxico Burress, Prince Fielder, Sean Green, Takashi Saito, Tony Gwyn Jr, White Men Can't Jump, Zach Greinke

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  • Kenny Shulsen

    Yo Lou, were you at the game today? For what really happened click here…

    http://www.lasordaslair.com

    I was listening to your Announcers. Kemp’s shot was hit to deep deep to right center.

    Apparently Prince wanted to throw down like it was 1999 but Matt Kemp said only if we are in the Ocatagon.

    Prince said he needed 90 days to cut weight.

    Dana White scrambled to Vegas looking for contract exemptions.

    Does today qualify as a 5th grade Beat Down Lou?

  • Montzie

    Word on the street is the whole bench clearing incident was under control until Prince wanted to throw down like it was 1999.

    Apparently Matt Kemp said let’s settle this in the Octagon.

    Fielder then claimed to need 90 days to work on his conditioning.

    Dana White, and the UFC, are apparently in discussions with the Nevada Gaming Commission as we speak.

  • Pingback: Fallout: Zack Greinke « Reviewing the Brew | A Milwaukee Brewers Blog

  • Lou Olsen

    @Kenny – Not quite a 5th grade Beat Down, but probably a 3rd grade swirley, or atomic wedgie. If Kemp and Fielder face off in the octagon, Prince wins due to all of his extra cushioning. Hint hint, wink wink. Let’s meet up in the regular season and do a little collaboration!!

  • Colin Bennett

    @Lou – Hey man, Prince is a vegetarian. Wait, ham’s a vegetable right?

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