OSHKOSH – Local Brewers blogger Colin Bennett struggled to get ideas for new articles that didn’t focus on harsh criticism, and unloaded his frustration on his two cats. According to sources, the Reviewing the Brew staff writer engaged in a lengthy and largely one-sided conversation with Kiwi, aged 2, and Finn, aged 1 late Wednesday night.
“It just doesn’t make any sense!” Colin told the cats as they groomed themselves on his living room floor, “I feel like I’m going to go nuts if this kind of crap keeps up!”
Sources in the Bennett household have noticed a distinct change in Colin’s demeanor since last Friday, when the Brewers beat the Astros 5-0 in the opening of a ten day road trip for the team. The strain finally appeared to break the 24-year old writer when the Braves completed a sweep of the Brewers with a 2-1 victory thanks to a Brian McCann home run off reliever Kameron Loe in the bottom of the 8th inning. “It didn’t seem like a big deal after the first loss to the ‘Stros, they do have some young talent and Bill Hall is inexplicably playing well this season,” he told Kiwi as she sat inside of a shopping bag, “but dropping two out of three? And Getting shutout? How does that happen when you have team that is supposed to be an offensive force this year? And how did Milwaukee completely fall flat against a team they just manhandled a few weeks ago?”
The main source of Colin’s anger seems to be directed at the Milwaukee line up, which has had a dismal showing in the past six games. In the last 7 days in fact, the Brewers’ batting average is a league worst .169. A fact not lost on the blogger, who reportedly shouted the number several times at a pillow.
“That would even be forgivable, except that we’ve had nine errors in seven games. Casey McGehee had three of them even! Three errors! How does someone go from being an all-star caliber third baseman to looking like he rides the bench on a rec league softball team?” Finn seemed to be in agreement with this sentiment, as she licked her privates and walked away.
Casey McGehee, as verified by non-feline sources, has been having a tough time all around the field for most of the young season. In his last ten games he is batting .189, with only one RBI and seven strikeouts. He also has the worst fielding percentage of his career since he moved to 3rd base at .951. McGehee wasn’t the only member of the Milwaukee Defense taken to task by Bennett and his household pets, as he struggled to explain to the animals why this current situation is not a pitching problem.
“No, you can’t put this all on the pitching staff,” he said trailing after the two cats into the kitchen, “Marcum Struck out eight batters today, and only gave up one run. Sure Greinke’s first start didn’t go so well, but there needs to be better defense and at least some offensive production if these big names are going to earn those contracts. It can’t all be on the guys on the mound, they can’t play every position.”
Colin’s mood did seem to turn around after his sleeping girlfriend woke up asked him who he was yelling at. He responded by saying “I’m just thinking out loud about some article ideas.” She then reminded him that it’s “only baseball” and went back to sleep. He responded – to no one in particular – that Milwaukee was in the bottom ten of almost every offensive statistic in the last week, and there is absolutely no reason for a team with this much talent to fall flat day after day. Colin then calmed down as he turned to rearranging the bobbleheads on his desk.
“It’s just a losing streak, these things happen in baseball,” he noted to a 10 inch Scott Podsednik, “the Brewers will get back on track before you know it. We have a lot of injury issues that are keeping Milwaukee out of a rhythm, and truth be told I’d much rather have to deal with this now than after the all-star break. Besides, we’re still only 4.5 games back in the central, things can change quickly if we can start hitting.”
After the nearly two hour tirade completed and the cats went to bed, sources in the house say Colin put on his softball glove and signed a provisional one year contract with an imaginary Doug Melvin.