Who Else is Tony Plush?

Nyjer Morgan is a fascinating guy.  This is a man who began his athletic career as a hockey player.  Got his college education in Walla Walla, Washington (which is a real place, been there).  Recently we discovered that he is quite the comedian.  Morgan has publicly announced that he has multiple personalities.  If this was the 50’s, he would be in a straight jacket right now.  Instead, he gets paid millions of dollars.  I love this country. 

Morgan is more widely known in Milwaukee by his alter-ego, Tony Plush or T-Plush.  So, I am not sure whether it is Morgan or Plush who continues to create “characters”, but we will get to that in a second.  The bottom line is, this is not your average center fielder…and we love him for it.

This guy has been a fan favorite since the first day he arrived in Milwaukee.  Despite all of his on-field issues prior to arriving in Milwaukee, he has been a model citizen and teammate.  If you take away the tobacco toss against Chris Carpenter, he really did not do anything to ruffle any ones feathers (between you and me, I thought that was hilarious though).

Because of his obvious comfortability with the Brewers and their fans, we have been fortunate enough to meet some of his other personalities.  There’s Tony Gumbo, Gumbo is a professional news man and loves to be in front of the camera.  You have Tony Tombstone, who emerged in a road trip to Texas last season and is believed to be wanted in 3 states for several robberies in the 1890’s.  These are both the alternate personalities of Tony Plush…who is already an alter-ego.  So…where do we go from here?

As I started thinking about the man, the myth, the enigma that is – Tony Plush, I began to think of some other situations where our #2 hitter might need some names in his back pocket.  Alter-egos have no rhyme or reason.  For all we know, T-Plush could have an alternate ego for all kinds of situation.  Let me give you an idea of what I mean.

I submit these for your approval:

Tony Travolta – This is his disco personality.  Ideal for nights out on the town, primarily when he gets “Saturday Night Fever”.  Tony Travolta also has some sweet dance moves, or so I’ve been told.

Tony Ocean – This is his thief personality.  Whenever he robs some one of a hit, or steals a base…you can blame Tony Ocean, but good luck trying to prove it.  Tony Ocean is a master thief, who always gets away with it.

Tony “Two-Face” Dent – This is when Nyjer Morgan and Tony Plush are calling the shots 50/50.  The two cannot truly co-exist, one must always have the upper hand, otherwise you get this guy.  You might get the cycle, or you might get 4 strikeouts…it’s all up to chance.

Tony Pontegna – Very few opposing pitchers will want to say hello to this little friend.  Whenever Tony Plush gets that killer instinct, you are looking at Tony Pontegna.  He is a cold-blooded killer.  Plus, he has probably seen ‘Scarface’…everybody likes ‘Scarface’

Tony Bambino – This personality only came out 4 times last season.  Whenever he launches a ball over the fence, the ghost of Babe Ruth inhabits his body for just a few moments.  Out of nowhere, he has a cigar in his mouth and has gained 120 pounds.  It can only be the Bambino.

Tony Tetrazzini – You are crazy if you don’t think T-Plush can cook.  80 percent of the books on his shelf are cook books.  Slick Willy (his cat) happens to be one of the finest culinary felines east of the Mississippi River.  His specialty is Italian food…primarily spaghetti.  Meatballs optional.  

Tony Renoir – This is the most sophisticated off all Tony Plush personalities.  He prefers a nice cup of tea and some Bach, rather than a beer and some hip-hop.  You will often find him roaming the halls of art galleries, or taking in an art auction.  TR also happens to be a world class painter, sculptor, and taxidermist. 

If you have any ideas, throw them in the comment section.  There are plenty of other situations that would warrant an additional personality for Tony Plush, the alter-ego of Nyjer Morgan.