The Tao of Steve: Episode 4 – The Reckoning

These titles are getting awful.  Sorry.

For those of you coming in late, fellow Brewer fan Steve Sievwright has been selected as a finalist for the MLB FanCave (Top 30!!).  In the midst of his quest for baseball glory, he has taken large amounts of his time to talk with our site.  Both Colin and I have had the pleasure of getting to know this guy.  He is just a normal dude.  Let’s catch everyone up to speed:

"Thanks to his hilarious work on the small screen, our hero has been whisked away to Arizona.  His fear of flying created a great amount of anxiety, but he curbed it with good old fashioned man power.  Then, Han Solo showed up and cut open his dead saber-toothed…horse, I guess…and kept Steve alive by warming him inside the carcass.  Obviously that was from The Empire Strikes Back, but I think I have made my point…"

RtB:  When we last left you, you have gotten your gift bag of swag.  How long before you were off doing FanCave stuff? 

Less than an hour after I arrived at the hotel, we were off to Chase Field.  RtB:  How did you get there?  In a swank coach bus adorned with MLB Fan Cave logos. I’ve never been to any stadiums, besides County Stadium and Miller Park, so I was excited to see my first major league stadium.  

RtB:  What was the point of all of this?  Was it just to show you the stadium?  Or did it serve some higher purpose? 

Eventually, I was put in a room with some very important people. After a motivating speech, I was off to give my one minute pitch as to why I should be in the MLB FanCave.  I was in the first group to go, so I nervously went over my ideas in my head before going in to speak them. Walked into an auditorium filled with reporters, executives, and even Paul DiMeo from Extreme Home Makeover. I had a timer in front of my face, and they said “Good luck”… Here was my moment, and I could barely think straight and it turns out a minute is a lot faster than I expected. But I got out that key point. 

RtB:  All you got was “Good Luck”?  They did not prepare you at all?  No advice…

The best advice I got in this process was from Mike O’Hara (last year’s caveman). He told me: “Just be you. That will get you the job.” I didn’t get out much more than that and I felt like I really messed it up. 

RtB:  I am sure it went better than you think it did.  Since you were in the first group, you have to wait for everyone to get done right?

Yup

RtB:  I assume that the afternoon goes by slowly…did they feed you?  I doubt that the Chase Field vendors work during the off-season.

I finally got to have some food in the late, late afternoon. As I was mowing down some chicken strips, in walks Matt Vasgersian and Eric Byrnes. They just casually walked in and started having some of the same chicken strips like nothing was up. In my head I was totally geeking out. Most of the 30 swarmed in and we all chatted them up about voice over work or pranks pulled in the minors. They were there to host the MLB Fan Cave IQ trivia contest. 

RtB:  How did that go?

My team did well enough, advanced a round, but on the way we totally disappointed Byrnes when we didn’t know the name of the Kid’s bat in “The Natural”.  

RtB:  I can picture the expression on his face now.  You will never forget it will you? 

Wonder Boy

RtB:  If you would like, we can never mention that name again on the site again.

That won’t be necessary.

RtB:  Once the trivia was over, what did everybody do?

After trivia, the “30” and the MLB big wigs all had dinner…and some karaoke. Many of my new friends were schmoozing and singing. I just ate dinner and hung out with the others, trying to get to know everyone better. Another problem with being myself, is not being able to sing, but as it turned out most everyone else couldn’t either. Got back to the hotel at 11pm, my room was finally ready. The room was a two room suite with a wet bar, when I saw that my jaw dropped. I thought: “I can’t believe this is all for me”. I quickly gained friends that night, we all managed to stay up until 4am.

RtB: Normally, I would be all for these kinds of shenanigans…but something tells me that little fiesta came back to bite you didn’t it?

Remember that schedule I got right away, with my gift bag? Well it said the next day started at 8am and ended 11pm. So staying up until 4am wasn’t a great idea. However, adrenaline kicks in when you have a day like I had lined up. 

RtB:  Ok, so 4 hours later your alarm goes off…and?

When my alarm went off, I shambled down to breakfast where I received a new Sony camera for the day. Then we were split up, and off, to different Spring Training facilities. Or at least we were supposed to be, one of the 30 managed not to wake up on time. Then, as we’re about to leave Paul DiMeo hopped on my bus to join us. Our bus was headed to Maryvale. I kept asking myself, “Do these people not realize who they are?” It seems like all of these famous people follow my mantra of just being yourself because it turns out they are just normal people too. 

RtB:  That’s cool that they just hung out with you guys.  Do you remember the ride over to Maryvale? 

Hmm…On the way I saw my first cactus, which pumped me up.

**We will leave you at the cactus and pick up the rest tomorrow.  I did ask him some questions that did not make it into this piece.  Here is an outtake that I liked, but didn’t really fit anywhere else**

 
RtB:  You let me use that picture of you with Axford, and I wanted to know…When John Axfords mustache shines in the sun light, does it create a rip in the space time continuum where space travel is possible?

It’s a lot like that actually. I only reach his shoulders so it was looking up at an idol. I was careful not to enter the rip because I’ve watched enough Star Trek to know where that would go.

Tune in tomorrow for the exciting conclusion.  Will Steve save the city from the Riddlers evil plot?  Will the Boy Wonder ever figure out where to get more shark-repellent BatSpray?  Will Matt Vasgersian narrate this dialogue in your head too?  All those questions…and more.  See you then!