John Axford hasn’t been spared from this, either. After April of 2011, this guy was one of the premier closers in the game. He broke Francisco Cordero’s previous Brewers save record of 44 by notching 46 saves, which was tied for the National League lead with Craig Kimbrel of the Braves. Axford also boasted a stellar 1.95 ERA in 2011. He even appeared on the Cy Young Award and MVP ballots, placing ninth and 17th, respectively.

But it’s been a completely different season for Axford this year. Every so often, you’ll see a closer with a high ERA, but sometimes it’s deceptive because he has a better ERA in save situations. But that isn’t the case with Axford; his 5.08 ERA tells you every bit how bad he’s been in the closer’s role, as do his league-leading eight blown saves.

From what I’ve seen- and I’m sure other would agree- it’s Axford’s confidence that’s making him falter. In 2011, he looked like he was in complete control on the mound. This year, his body language looks different, and he almost looks scared to throw certain pitches. That certain pitch is probably the curveball, which he seems to have lost all control of this year. In 2011, he’s devastating 12-6 curve, paired with the high-90’s fastball and slider, was what made him such a dominant closer. The curve just hasn’t been there for him this year, and he was probably struggling to adjust.Until recently, that is. Axford converted saves in the last two games of the Cubs series. He looked like he was in 2011-form in the last game, as he struck out the side. The one thing I noticed was he didn’t rely on the curve; he got by using the fastball-slider combination. That tells me he’s finally adjusted to closing without the curveball.And Axford knows that now. Apparently, Axford personally asked Ron Roenicke for the closer’s role back. He said he wanted to restore order in the bullpen, and took blame for the inconsistency of the bullpen the past few months by not being able to lock down the important closer’s role.Axford’s problem all year, starting with that blown save in Kansas City, was confidence. But, it had to have taken confidence to personally ask the manager for the role that he’d been struggling in back, which says his confidence is starting to return. Now Axford needs to continue bringing that confidence back to the mound in the ninth inning, and he could be back into 2011 form before we know it.

The likes of Brewers past such as Richie Sexson, Craig Counsell, Doug Davis, and many others were offered up from fans on Twitter who tweeted the names of players they wish were still on the team. Keeping the roster at only 25 men was incredibly hard and parts of my Brewers fan died when leaving some of the names off the roster.

The criteria for determining the team were simple: productivity both during and after their time with the Brewers and likability as both a player and person. Go ahead, put on that Jeff Cirillo jersey and take a trip through recent memory lane.

Catcher

Candidates- Damian Miller, Jason Kendall

No batting gloves, pine tar, and an old-school approach to the game made Jason Kendall valuable in his two seasos with Milwaukee. (Image; Jeff Curry-US PRESSWIRE)

The best memory of Damian Miller came in 2007, but the story behind it starts in 2006. Thousands of Lacrosse natives voiced their displeasure after Miller, born and raised in La Crosse, did not play on La Crosse day at Miller Park that season. In 2006, manager Ned Yost made a point to give Miller the start on La Crosse day, and the then-37-year-old did not disappoint. He blasted his second career walk-off home run to give the Brewers a 6-3 victory in front of 31,000, many of whom were from  his hometown. Over three seasons, he posted .257/.324/.391 numbers before retiring as a Brewer following 2007. Miller’s numbers may not have been eye-popping, but compared to other Brewers catchers, he was a plus offensive player and a fan-favorite in Milwaukee. Jason Kendall retired from baseball on Tuesday, three years after his final season as a Brewer. His gritty, old-style approach to the game and stellar defense made him an easy player to like. Kendall never liked to miss a game, and played in 151 games as the defensive captain for the 2008 Playoff team . One hundred fifty one. As a catcher. The three-time All Star threw out an incredible league-high 43 percent of attempted base stealers in ’08 and had the third-highest dWAR in all of baseball, contributing 2.8 wins just with his defense behind the dish.

Winner- Jason Kendall

He wouldn’t be starting over Jonathan Lucroy, but Kendall was fun to watch. He rarely struck out, was a stellar defensive catcher, and had a key RBI hit in the Brewers first postseason victory since 1982. He gets the slight nod over fan-favorite Damian Miller for the catcher spot on the team.

First Base

Candidates- Richie Sexson, Lyle Overbay, Prince Fielder

From August 2000 through their loss in the 2011 NLCS, the Brewers never had any questions as to who was the starting first

RICHAYYYYYYYY

baseman. Sexson, Overbay, and Fielder combined for 398 homers in just over 11 combined seasons as the Brewers starting first basemen, averaging roughly 35 dingers per season. Richie Sexson tied Stormin’ Gorman Thomas’ franchise record 45 homers in  a single season in 2001 before repeating the task again in 2003. He was the Spiderman on a team full of Peter Parker’s. He bashed 134 homers in only 534 games and slugged .536 before being traded to Arizona, which thrust Lyle Overbay into the starting spot. 2004 was Overbay’s first season as an everyday starter, and he responded by being named the Most Valuable Player on the team after hitting .301/.385/.478 with 16 homers, 87 RBI, and a franchise-record 53 doubles. Brewers fans showed their adoration by filling Miller Park with cardboard ‘O’s and chanted “Oooooooooooooh” as Overbay stepped up to bat. He finished his two seasons with the Brewers as a .289/.376./.464 hitter with 159 RBI and 87 two-baggers. It’s really a shame his time was cut short by Cecil’s kid. It’s not like he was the youngest player to ever hit 50 homers in a season or the 15th-fastest to 200 homers. Or holds the franchise record for single season homers, RBI, OBP, and OPS. Or a four-time All Star or top four in MVP voting thrice. Wait, what? Of course I don’t miss him!

No, Prince, don't leave us! (Image: Jeff Curry-US PRESSWIRE)

Winner- Prince Fielder

If you claim to be a Brewers fan and can look me in the eye and, especially after the way this season is going, say “I don’t miss Fielder at all”, I’ll call up the producers of “Days of Our Lives”and get  you a spot. Seriously. After hitting 230 home runs and nearly breaking the right field bleachers at Miller Park, Fielder hasn’t lost a beat in Detroit, hitting .307 with a .391 OBP and 67 RBI. I could’ve chosen any of these three easily (they’ll all make the team in some fashion), but Prince gets the starting spot. I, for one, am still going through withdrawal.

Second Base

Candidates- Eric Young, Craig Counsell

E.Y. manned second base for the 2002 and the first half of the 2003 season, swiping 56 bases and posting modest .271/.340/.392 slash stats in 247 games. He had a random–and I mean random–power outburst in 2003, hitting 15 homers in 109 games with Milwaukee before being traded to San Francisco. That was the only season in which Eric Young took double digit trips to Souvenir City (a name he trademarked as an analyst for Baseball Tonight). If Damian Miller was the hometown kid, then Craig Counsell is that kid that grew up next door and cut your grass for $10 for eight years before marrying his high school sweetheart. Of all fan favorites to come through Milwaukee in the 2000s, Counsell may be the most endeared. Overall, he batted only .241, but that includes a woeful 2011 when he only batted .178 and had an 0-45 stretch. The Whitefish Bay native first came to Milwaukee in 2004 for only one season before coming back from 2007-2011 and appearing in two postseasons before retiring to the Brewers Front Office.

Winner- Craig Counsell

If one player could get away with an 0-45 stretch, it’d be Craig Counsell. He served as a veteran presence in the clubhouse for two Playoff teams and served as a productive Brewer for five seasons. Craig could have qualified for the team at shortstop, second, or third base, but the other two are laced with more candidates than second, so there you have it. The only thing up for debate is which batting stance he’ll use with the team: the old or new Craig Counsell bat wiggle?

Third Base

Candidates- Tyler Houston, Russell Branyan, Jeff Cirillo, Jerry Hairston, Jr

It’s too bad Tyler Houston wasn’t able to stay consistently healthy during his three seasons with the Brewers. When on the field, he

Russell Branyan was searched by the FBI, because he dropped BOMBS on opposing pitchers.

hit .279/.326/.475, including a .302 average in 2002 before he was part of the mass fire sale of the team that season. In 252 games he hit 37 homers and drove in 114 runs. He never was exactly a fan-favorite, unlike the other candidates. Russell “The Muscle” Branyan unsurprisingly holds the record for the longest home run ever hit at Miller Park when he blasted one 480 feet in only his second game as a Brewer in 2004. He immediately became a fan favorite for one reason: Dude could mash. Forget about his .247 average over three seasons with the Crew; his slugging percentage (.527) ranks third in franchise history. Of his 122 hits, 35 (29 percent) of them left the yard. And most of those balls that left the yard were no-doubters. Jeff Cirillo was the ultimate trivia question for Brewers fans until Ryan Braun came around. His .307 average was the highest of any Brewer of all-time, surpassing Yount, Molitor, Cooper, Loretta, etc. He spent most of his time with the Brewers during the 90s but returned for a two-year stint in ’05 and ’06. He hit .289 and .319, respectively, drove in 46 runs, won the team’s Unsung Hero award in ’06, and was a light-out reliever. Not kidding. He pitched a shutout inning against Milwaukee while a member of the Diamonbacks in 2007, striking fellow fan-favorite Craig Counsell. Jerry Hairston helped push the Brewers over the top in 2011 after being acquired at the trade deadline from Washington. He took over for a scuffling Casey McGehee and had a 1.3 WAR in only 43 games. He gave the team additional veteran leadership and was huge in the Playoffs. His sacrifice fly in Game Five of the NLDS proved pivotal as the game went to extra innings and he batted .375 with two doubles and three RBI in the series. In the NLCS against St. Louis he batted .391 with four doubles and scored six runs as the team’s top batter along with Ryan Braun.

Winner- Jerry Hairston Jr

What separates JHJr is that, unlike the other candidates, he was on a Playoff team and made a good team into a great team. He filled in at third base on the best Brewers team in 30 years, as @A_Berdan11 put it.

Candidates- Mark Loretta, JJ Hardy, Alcides Escobar

Longtime Brewer Mark Loretta spent eight productive seasons with the Brewers from 1995-2002, batting .285 during his tenure. However, much of Loretta’s damage came after his time with the Brew Crew. He was dealt to Houston during the ’02 season and ensuing to bat .424 with the Astros. He only hit 29 total homers over his eight seasons in Milwaukee, but then exploded for 16 and 13 (for a total of 29, if you struggle with addition) in 2003 and 2004 with San Diego. His two All Star appearances came after 2002 and he exploded for a .335 season in 2004, when he finished ninth in MVP voting. JJ Hardy was ever the lady machine, racking up support from his female followers like none other since Scotty Podsednik (we’ll get to that later). The Brewers traded him following a rough 2009 in which he only batted .229. Two years prior, however, Hardy was an All Star and blasted 26 homers while driving in 80 homers in a Robin Yount-type season at short. A .262 hitter over five years in Milwaukee, Hardy was (and still is) regarded as one of the top defensive third basemen in the league. He had the highest dWAR among shortstop in 2008 and flashed incredible range to go along with an incredible arm. Last season in Baltimore, Hardy belted thirty homers and hadn the best range figures of any shortstop in the American League…meanwhile Milwaukee placed Brewers We Won’t Miss starting shortstop Yuniesky Betancourt in the lineup every day. Alcides Escobar only batted .235 in his only full season with the Brewers but was regarded as one of the top prospects in the system. He was dealt to Kansas City as part of the Zack Greinke trade, where he is coming into his own. This season, he is hitting .307 with his best years ahead of him at 25 years of age.

Winner- JJ Hardy

As much as the Brewers could have used Mark Loretta after he was sent to Houston, but

Left Field

Candidates- Geoff Jenkins

The finish on Jenkins' swing has always been a thing of beauty. Watch it go, baybee!

As a lifetime Brewers fan, I feel it’d be a dishonor to even think about putting someone else in this category. Geoff Jenkins was a fan-favorite and the face of the Brewers for the majority of his ten seasons with the team. His 212 homers ranks third in franchise history. He roamed Jenkins Jungle in left with a laser for an arm, a Brett Favre-esque goat, a powerful swing, and even made his strikeouts (there were a lot of those) interesting. Jenkins left left fielders in assists in 2000 and 2003, his one and only All Star season. His single season high in homers came in 2000, when he hit 34 and batted .303. After the 2007 campaign the Brewers granted him free agency and he went on to be a contributing factor on the Phillies World Champion team the next season before retiring as a Brewer.

Winner- Geoff Jenkins

Here’s to you, Geoff. Brewers fans all over miss your glove and bat in Miller Park.

Center Field

Candidates- Scott Podsednik, Brady Clark, Gabe Kapler

Podsednik could have been a productive member of the Brewers even in the latter stages of his career.

Scott Podsednik was fast. Real fast. In only two seasons, he worked his way into fifth in franchise history in steals with 113. He led all of baseball with 70 steals in 2004, his second season in the bigs. In 2003, Podsednik was runner-up in Rookie of the Year voting after hitting .314 and stealing 43 bases. I could go on for days about Scotty Pods, but I already did that for the HOVG Heroes project. Brady Clark’s most productive days as a player came during his tenure with the Brewers. Over four seasons, he batted .284/.361/.393, including posting the tenth-highest average in the National League in 2005 (.306). He had great range in the outfield, finishing as the top UZR player at his position in 2003, ’04, and ’05. Gabe Kapler was an intrical part to the 2008 Wild Card team. After taking a year off from the MLB in 2007, he had a career revitalization during his one season with Milwaukee. He started 43 games and appeared in 96 while batting .301 with eight homers and 38 RBI. Kapler was a jolt of energy off the bench. He drew the admiration of Brewers fans with his work ethic and ability to answer when called upon. The highlight of his career with the Brewers came when he snapped an 0-6 day with a walk-off homer off the left field pole to give the Brewers a 5-4 victory in 13 innings.

Winner- Scott Podsednik

Out of the three candidates, Podsednik was the best player while with the Brewers, most liked among fans (yes, including “Scotty’s Hotties”), and went on to most productive after his time in Milwaukee. He hit a walk-off homer in the 2005 World Series, a year in which he was also an All Star. He rocked the eye black and high socks and was a stolen base machine while roaming center field at Miller Park.

Right Field

Candidates- Jeromy Burnitz, Matt Stairs, Nelson Cruz

Oh ya know, just hitting walk off grand slams in the ALCS meanwhile in Milwaukee... (Image-Matthew Emmons: US PRESSWIRE)

Jeromy Burnitz was pretty much the love of my grandmother’s life in his time with the Brewers and gets a strong vote from the likability department. A little nugget on Jeromy: he’s the only player to receive both AL and NL MVP votes as a Brewer–a fact that is only as impressive as you want it to be. The only problem with those stellar 1997, ’98, and ’99 propose is that…they happened in the 90′s and, technically, this is a team of the 2000s. His production slipped off in 2000 and ’01, batting a combined .240 over the seasons, but still hitting 65 homers and driving in 198 runs. Matt Stairs made a living off of hitting lots of baseballs really far and received a nomination from @fevankeyzi on Twitter. 20 percent of hits were home runs over a career that spanned 19 years and a Major League record-tying 12 teams. In 2002, his lone season with the Brewers, Stairs had 66 hits, 16 of which were homers (nearly 25 percent). He was fun to watch on a team that wasn’t so fun to even follow loosely and holds a place in my baseball heart for hitting the first professional homer I ever saw (even though it was as a member of the Cubs…). Nelson Cruz gets a big fat zero towards his case on the team as a fan favorite. This isn’t a knock against Cruz; it’s hard to have an impression on a fan base in the seven at-bats he had with the team before being traded to Texas along with Carlos Lee in a trade I would rather not discuss. He has been hampered by injuries in Texas, but has 96 homers in only 494 games dating back to 2009 and straight up mashed during the 2011 postseason. Cruz was 8-22 (.364) with six homers–including a walk off grand slam–and 13 RBI during the ALCS against Detroit and was named MVP of the series. In 33 postseason games he has 14 homers and 27 RBI with a .687 slugging percentage. And we wanted Kevin Mench.

Winner- Nelson Cruz

The outfielder the Brewers received when they traded Cruz away was Kevin Mench, who made the Brewers We Won’t Miss team. And after turning into one of the game’s top slugging outfielder, Cruz had given Brewers fans good reason to wish he was still around. Imagine if he had been around for our LCS instead of Texas’. The outcome may have been completely different. Rest assured, Burnitz will still make the team as a reserve, but a technicality allows Cruz to get the starting nod.

Reserves: 

Burnitz (right) and Sexson will be mashing off the bench for this team, much like they did in 2001.

1B-Richie Sexson-Come on, I’m not leaving that power right-handed bat off my bench. Anyone else miss moments like when his huge Miller Park Opener game-winning homer or when he hit the flag pole in Houston?

1B-Lyle Overbay- Oooooooooooooooo would be the first left handed bat I’d call on to pinch hit unless I need a homer (see below). Fan favorite and productive, can’t keep him off.

3B-Russell Branyan-Apologies to all Jeff Cirillo fans, but not even Fielder hit balls as far as Russell The Muscle. Chicks dig the long ball, man.

RF-Jeromy Burnitz-Even while hitting .231, Burnitz drove in 100 runs. Props. Much like Jenkins, the fans loved him and how could he be left off the roster?

Starting Rotation

Candidates- Jeff D’Amico, Jamey Wright, Ben Sheets, Doug Davis, Tomo Ohka, Chris Capuano, David Bush, CC Sabathia

Rotation (by order)

Easily one of the greatest moments in Brewers history. Even a photo still gives me chills.

1. LHP CC Sabathia- Just as with Prince, I’d be crazy to say I don’t miss CC. I’ll still argue he threw a no hitter (curse you, Bob Webb) and the carried the 2008 team to the Playoffs on his left arm alone. Possibly the gutsiest start in Brewers history came from Sabathia on the final day of that season against the Cubs when he got the team their first postseason berth since 1982.

2. RHP Ben Sheets- We don’t miss the injuries, but, Sheets was the best pitcher on the team year-after-year. His record doesn’t truly reflect what his 3.72 era and league-leading strikeout totals proved for him as a pitcher. And with the way he’s come back with Atlanta (2-0, 0.00 era) we would still take him back.

3. LHP Chris Capuano- Cappy was two wins away from becoming the fourth Brewers pitcher to win 20 games in a season in 2005 and was an All Star in 2006 before a second Tommy John surgery halted his career. After two years away from baseball, Capuano came back with the Brewers and is now 10-5 with a 2.81 era with the Dodgers. Yet another pitcher the team would like in the rotation.

4. LHP Doug Davis- By popular demand, Davis makes the team. He won 37 games over three consistent seasons with Milwaukee (let’s forget about his attempted 2010 return). He was the slowest-working pitcher the game has ever seen, I swear, but his name was mentioned more times on Twitter than any other former Brewer, so laissez-faire, Milwaukee.

5. RHP Jamey Wright- This one’s completely at the request of Brewers Senior Manager of Marketing Caitlin Moyer from over at John & Cait…Plus Nine. Back in the day, the Brewers didn’t carry a Jamey Wright tee-shirt, so Caitlin went on ahead and ordered a custom-made shirt of the guy with the “Wright stuff”. The more you know.

Relievers

Candidates- David Weathers, Chad Fox, Curtis Leskanic, Mike DeJean, Dan Kolb, Mike Adams, Grant Balfour, Francisco Cordero, Brian Shosue, Salomon Torres, Trevor Hoffman, Todd Coffey, Takashi Saito, LaTroy Hawkins

Bullpen

RHP Curtis Leskanic- Before his fame in the 2004 ALCS with Boston, Leskanic was mowing down batters with the Brewers. His swag was on infinity when he wore the double zero jersey in 2000 and 2001. His nine wins in 2000 were good enough for third on the team (and he didn’t even start a game) to go along with a 2.56 era. Was 15-9 overall with a 3.01 era and 29 saves in three years with the team.

RHP Brooks Kieschnik- The legend of Brooks Kieschnik was almost too good to be true. He bashed eight homers, seven of which came in 2003, drove in 19 runs, and posted .286/.340/.496 slash stats over two seasons with the Crew. And had a 4.59 era in 96 innings. He hit more homers in 70 at-bats in 2003 than he gave up in 53 innings to actual, full-time, their-only-job-is-to-hit hitters. There’s no way he wasn’t making the team.

RHP Danny Kolb- I contemplated putting Kolb in the closer’s role on the team because he was simply lights out in his tenure with the Brewers. In his All Star season of 2004, he set the then-franchise record for single season saves with 39 and amounted 61 in two years as the team’s closer. He had a 2.55 era during his time as closer in 2003 and ’04 before coming back in 2006 as a middle reliever. Plus, he signed my glove as a third grader, which is pretty flippin’ neat.

RHP Grant Balfour- He issued “Ball-Four” (greatest name for a reliever ever?) to four batters over 2.2 innings with the Brewers in 2007, got lit up for a 20.25 era, was traded to Tampa Bay, and, like Adams, became one of the game’s top relievers.  He nearly won a World Series ring with the Rays the year after being traded when he went 6-2 with a miniscule 1.54 era. Currently, he has a 2.93 era as a key member in the bullpen for the surging Oakland Athletics. Want him back, maybe?

LHP Brian Shouse- The man who brought “Shout”by Tears for Fear to Miller Park was also a great lefty specialist. The submaring-throwing lefty posted a 3.18 era over three seasons and was a master at stranding inherited runners. Plus, did I mention he had an epic intro song?

RHP Todd Coffey- Coffey probably could have made the team simply because of his likability. At 240 lbs, he would sprint onto the mound from the bullpen to a standing ovation at Miller Park every time his number was called. His 7.1 scoreless frames down the stretch in 2008 pushed the team to the Playoffs. Coffey followed that up with four wins and a 2.90 era in 83.2 innings in 2009, sprinting all the while.

Set Up- RHP Mike Adams- Adams had a 3.54 era in just 68.2 innings with the Brewers from 2004-06 before being traded for Geremi

Hoffman picked up save number 600 while with the Brewers in 2010. (Image: Jeff Hanisch-US PRESSWIRE)

Gonzalez (again, can we not discuss that trade?). Now he is one of the game’s top set-up men with a career 2.20 era and coming off a 1.47 era last season with San Diego and Texas. Anybody else wish we had kept him?

Set Up- RHP Francisco Cordero- CoCo may enter to boo’s at Miller Park now (though I’m not too sure why, unless we’re also going to boo Prince), but broke Kolb’s saves record when he saved 44 games in 2007 for the first Brewers team above .500 since 1992. He saved 60 games in a season and a half with a 2.60 and 1.18 WHIP. He was dynamite while with the Brewers before signing with Cincinnait, where his success continued.

Closer- RHP Trevor Hoffman- For two seasons, Trevor Time came to Milwaukee as the Brewers were lucky enough to have the all-time saves leader on their team (until Mariano Rivera passed him up in 2011), and he enjoyed one of his best seasons ever in 2009. Hoffman was an All Star that season as he posted a 1.83 era and 37 saves. He came on to a standing ovation and roars to his famed entrance music, AC/DC’s “Hell’s Bells”. After a rough 2010, the fan-favorite Hoffman was able to record his 600th save, becoming the first player to ever do so. One of the game’s greatest closers of all-time gets the nod to close for this team, as it shouldn’t be any other way.

Lineup: 

CF Podsednik

2B Counsell

LF Jenkins

1B Fielder

RF Cruz

SS Hardy

3B Hairston, Jr. 

C Kendall

*Okay, okay. So I cheated. There are 26 guys on the team. Not 25. But I couldn’t leave on Brooks Kieschnick, so I gave in and 26 are on the team! But have no fear, Ben Sheets will get injured soon, go on the DL, and we’ll be back down to 25 in no time. 

Comments? Questions? Queries? Posers? Anyone you felt was short-changed or forgotten? Leave your thoughts in the newly styled comments section below or tweet your thoughts to me (@CurtKnowsBest–I’m six followers away from 600, help a brother out!). 

For those of you coming in late, here is what started all of this:

This is a 5 week project, in which 5 select individuals will nominate two former Brewers as candidates for “The Hall”. At the end of those 5 weeks, RtB will put up a poll in order to induct 2 players in to the first ever class of the “Hall of Brewers We Won’t Miss”.

In my humble opinion, there was never a doubt that he would be a first ballot Hall of Won’t Misser, either. 

So, as we discussed yesterday, rather than a speech I just wrote a little obituary for his career as a Brewer.  Enjoy.

Eric Gagne

This French-speaking, Looney spending, steroid abusing, baseball journeyman, was lucky enough to end his major league career as a Milwaukee Brewer.  Luckily for Brewers fans, he did not “retire” wearing our jersey.  Rather, his career simply ended due to horrific play and absurd contract demands, which the Brewers met for one heinous season. 

December 9, 2007 was the day that the Brewers lit $10 million dollars on fire and called it an acquisition.  Gagne was brought in to close games after the complete breakdown of Derrick Turnbow, and the departure of Francisco Cordero.  Eric lasted about 3 weeks as the Brewers closer, blowing 3 of his first 6 save opportunities. 

4 days after signing Gagne to this absurd contract, the infamous Mitchell report was released.  In that report, Eric Gagne was listed as a user of Human Growth Hormone going all the way back to 2002 (coincidentally the highest points of his career were from ’02-’04).  This is something he has never admitted to, or denied.  But the timing of the report and his signing with the Brewers, cast a dark shadow over his time in Milwaukee before it had even begun.

When you pay a man $10 million dollars to close out games, you expect results.  Gagne was given 17 save opportunities and converted 10 of those, which means he only saved 60% of the games he was brought in to save.  If I only did 60% of my job, I would be fired without my boss even giving it a second thought.  But, the Brewers had not inflicted enough pain on themselves, so following the 2008 season they re-signed him to a minor league deal.  Luckily for us, he injured his shoulder, and he was immediately released. 

What can you say about Eric Gagne that hasn’t already been said about Milli Vanilli; he cheated to get to the top, he came crashing down with a thud, and now he is only spoken about in the past tense. 

If the Hall of Brewers We Won’t Miss was created for Jeff Suppan, Eric Gagne was not far behind.  He is another shining beacon of the Brewers continued efforts to piss away money on mediocre talent. 

Eric Gagne will not be missed by Brewers fans, so we lay him in his final resting place.  He will always be revered as on of the great “Won’t Misser’s” of all-time. 

His family should be proud, this is the only award he earned without steroids as a baseball player. 

And with that, we shut the door on “The Hall of Brewers We Won’t Miss” for 2012.  One last time I would like to thank Colin Bennett, Steve over at Brewers Keep Turning Up The Heat, Steve Sievwright, and Justin Hull from the Home Stretch on WSCO Radio. 

Be sure and tune in next year for 10 more nominees, and 2 more Brewers…We Won’t Miss!

But, as always, here is what we are doing: 

This is a 5 week project, in which 5 select individuals will nominate two former Brewers as candidates for “The Hall”.  At the end of those 5 weeks, RtB will put up a poll in order to induct 2 players in to the first ever class of the “Hall of Brewers We Won’t Miss”.

This week I asked RtB staffer and cultural attache of  Guinea-Bissau, Steve Alstadt, to throw two more nominees our way.  All I asked him for was two nominees, a grade, and some closing thoughts.  But Steve said, “No way. I got this Olsen.”  Who am I to argue with a political diplomat.

What you are about to read was written entirely by our resident cheese, wine, and Guinea Bissau cultural references expert.  If you like Steve’s work, be sure and check out some of his other Brewers work on our site as well as his other site Brewers! Brewers! Keep Turning Up The Heat! 

Glendon Rusch -   Perhaps no poor soul epitomizes the total futility of the early 2000s Milwaukee Brewers than Glendon Rusch. Those teams were dreadful—in 2002 they lost 106(!) games. Rusch was the anti-ace of the staff. In Milwaukee for two years, the only thing he made headlines for was losing games at an alarming rate. Making matters worse was the fact he went to the Cubs in 2004 and put together a good season as a reliever and fill-in starter. 

**Lou’s Side Note: Rusch went to High School right down the street from where I live in the Seattle, WA area**

Steve’s Overall Grade: D

Brewers Stats:

As head of that historically bad 2002 team, Glendon Rusch lost 16 games. He gave up over a hit per inning and had an ERA of 4.7. Yet, because the team was so bad, he racked up 210 innings—simply because they had nobody better!

How did he follow it up in 2003? With a much, much worse season, that’s how. How does a 1-12 record with a 6.42 ERA (!!!) and 12.5 hits per nine innings sound?

During his tenure as a Brewer, his ERA+ was 78. League average is 100. Oof. 

Money/Contract: 

This is one of the reasons I only went down to a D for Rusch. I have been unable to find his salary, but it couldn’t have been that much. The team had a payroll of $50 million in 2002 and $40 in 2003, so they almost didn’t have room for bad contracts.

Like-ability:

I don’t remember much about Rusch as a person, other than he had that blood clot scare after he left the Brewers. I remember people honestly feeling sorry for him because of all the losses, though.

Steve’s Closing Thoughts:

I only went with a D because Rusch truly wasn’t as bad as his true numbers indicate. He wasn’t even the worst pitcher on that 2003 team; Fangraphs has Wayne Franklin as the worst pitcher in baseball that year. Rusch being here is almost a team award for the Brewers of 2002 and 2003. He was the poster boy, because he had all those losses. A closer look at his numbers reveals something fascinating. His ERA was an amazingly bad 6.42, but his fielding independent pitching (FIP) in 2003 was 3.87! That implies that the defense behind Rusch was terrible and artificially deflated his numbers. Plus, the losses were often a result of poor run support from a heinous offense. So, really, this honor should go to Glendon Rusch/The 2003 Milwaukee Brewers.

Kevin Mench -  This may be a personal one more than the numbers back up, but I despise Kevin Mench as a baseball player. Actually, that isn’t a strong enough word. I loathe Kevin Mench the baseball player. If you recall, Mench was in Milwaukee for about a year and a half. He came to Milwaukee with Francisco Cordero in the underwhelming deal that sent Carlos Lee (and Nelson Cruz, doh) to Texas. He’s probably remembered for two dumb stories. First, he has a large head. People liked to joke about it. Secondly, he had that infamous shoe thing in Texas. Right after he switched to a larger shoe size, he had a stretch in which he hit some home runs and it became a story.

Also, mainly because I didn’t like him, I used to enjoy pointing out his resemblance to Voldemort.

Steve’s Overall Grade: D-

Stats:

2006: .230/.248/.317, for a cool .566 OPS in 133 plate appearances. He drew four walks.

2007: .267/.305/.441 in 308 plate appearances.

Plus, he was an awful outfielder.

Mench is the perfect example of why strikeouts are a horrible measuring tool for offensive players. For his career, Mench’s strikeout rate is just 12.9%. A player people like to rip on for strikeouts, say, Rickie Weeks, is at 23.1%. Yet, Weeks is a much better offensive player, because he gets on base so much more often than Mench ever did.  2007 is a good comparison for those two, actually. Weeks was 14^th in MLB in pitches per plate appearance, at 4.45. Mench was 11^th-worst  among all players with at least 300 plate appearances—just 3.31. Mench was a hacker, plain and simple, and hackers are my least favorite of all baseball players.

Aside: The worst in pitches/PA that year was Johnny Estrada, who I could have just as easily chosen for this segment. My God, and watching him “run” the bases… I have to stop now before I delete this entire thing and start all over using Estrada instead of Mench.

Money/Contract:

Mench didn’t make an exorbitant amount while he was here—somewhere around $4 million a year, if I remember correctly. That makes this all the more impressive in my eyes. My hatred was fixated purely on Mench as a baseball player, and had nothing to do with his contract.

Like-ability:

It seemed like his teammates liked him, or whatever, but I will never forget what cemented him forever in my HoF. I can’t find the exact quote now, unfortunately, but once he was asked about his lack of walks, and he said (paraphrasing) “They don’t pay me to walk. I’m not a mailman,” and he laughed. He laughed at the notion of walking. UGH.

Steve’s Final Thoughts:

There is one memory of Mench that stands out to me more than any other. The Brewers’ were in the midst of their epic 2007 collapse in which they blew a substantial division lead to the Cubs. The day was August 30, 2007 (not because I remember it this clearly, but because I looked it up). The Brewers were down two runs against the Cubs in the ninth inning. The closer at the time, Ryan Dempster, had just walked in a run. Mench was in the lineup that day, and he spot in the order came up. With three lefties on the bench in Geoff Jenkins, Craig Counsell, and Johnny Estrada, Ned Yost elected to let Kevin Mench, he of the .309 career OBP against righties, hit. And what does Mench do? After Dempster had just walked in a run? He lazily grounded out to shortstop on the first pitch. Game over. Commence rage.

Moments before the deadline, the Brewers announced a deal with Japanese superstar Norichika Aoki.  While the terms of the deal have not been released, it is believed to be for two years with a team option for 2014.  Aoki will serve primarily as a member of the outfield platoon, along with Ryan Braun, Corey Hart, Nyjer Morgan and Carlos Gomez.  When you consider that last year our 5th outfielder was Mark Kotsay, I would say Aoki is a major improvement. 

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This Weeks Guest:

John Heitz:

John is a contributor for the Fansided joint, Blog Red Machine. John currently resides in Pittsburgh, PA.  Blog Red Machine provides amazing baseball insight, as it pertains to the Cincinnati Reds.  John also writes a recurring column about a statistic he created to evaluate bullpen success.  He happens to be a Dayton Dragons (Reds single-A affiliate and new record holders of most consecutive sell-outs in all of pro sports) super-fan as well.  Please keep in mind these were bought and sold on Friday, so John had no way of knowing the outcome of Friday, Saturday, and Sunday’s games.  Alot has changed since then.

The way this works is simple. I make 4 realistic statements about the Brewers. John tells me if he is “buying” it or “selling” it. Then he has to defend himself. If it was just a True or False test, then what would be the point.

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     In honor of the holiest of all baseball days, I slaved tirelessly with Steve Engbloom, head writer of  Blog Red Machine ,to put together a series preview for everyone.  I would like to take this moment to thank Steve for working on this with me, I had a great time putting it together.  We had so many ideas, but eventually we had to narrow them down just a little bit.  In this article you will find a game-by-game pitching breakdown, “6 pack of Brew’s” interview with Steve, and finally a who’s Hot/Cold section.  Our goal in putting together this super article was to give our reader’s a special opening day gift.  I hope that you all enjoy the fruit of our exhausting labor.  Happy Opening Day Brewskies and Brewskettes!!!!!!

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