How Could It Be Any Worse……..?


By now, many of you have no doubt heard that the Brewers have fallen to a pathetic 0-4 start.  Today was probably the hardest loss to swallow.  Chris Narveson threw a spectacular 6 complete innings, only to watch super-veteran Takashi Saito give up two solo home runs in the 8th inning.  It was like watching a Nicholas Cage movie, I just wanted it to be over.

My Dad’s co-worker’s read the blog everyday (hey fellas, thanks for reading), this morning one of the guys asked my Dad why I hate the Brewers so much.

That made me kind of sad.  It is so easy to sit here at my computer and rag on them for not playing well, but it occurs to me that I love the Brewers.  My job as head writer, is to always try and keep the fan base up-beat and positive.  I have not been doing a very good job of that over the first 4 games of the 2011 season.  Brewers fans, I have failed you.  But no more.

Brewskies and Brewskettes, may I introduce to our newest weekly segment:

How Could It Be Any Worse………  

  • We could be Cubs fans (over 100 years without even a sniff of a World Series)

  • Jeff Suppan could be pitching tomorrow

  • Mark Kotsay could be batting in the 4 spot

  • Zach Greinke could break his foot playing croquet next week

  • Prince Fielder could need a forklift to get from the dugout to home plate (get it….because he is fat)

  • Bud Selig could buy the team back, then announce the re-hire of Ken Macha

  • Our “Ace” pitcher could need Tommy John surgery, only to have our star LF need an emergency appendectomy a few weeks later (see St. Louis Cardinals)

  • The racing sausages could go on strike over a lack of condiment incentives in their contracts

  • John Axford could shave his mustache………wrap your brain around that for a second

  • Ryan Braun could grow a mustache……..wrap your brain around that for a second

  • Wil Nieves could be striking out EVERY SINGLE at-bat, instead of every other

  • Games could start being broadcast in 3-D, that way you could hit off of the Brewers bullpen from the comfort of your own home

  • The team could me moved to Oklahoma City…..where they would change the name to the OKC Moonshiners, since there are no breweries in Oklahoma

  • Shaun Marcum could denounce his American heritage and become a Canadian Mountie

  • Neil Patrick Harris could steal your car, which totally throws off your mission to find a White Castle restaurant with your friend Harold


Well, I hope that this made some of you feel better.  I know I feel a little bit better about things.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank you, my beloved reader’s.  This site is something that I am very proud of, but sometimes my passion can be misconstrued as anger and even hatred.  Please believe me when I tell you that I love the Brewers……and I also love you, my fellow Brewers fans.  Things will get better.  To quote one of the greatest movies ever made (The Dark Knight), “The night is always darkest, just before the dawn”.  If it’s good enough for Batman, then it’s good enough for us damnit

      Focus all of your positive energy on the boys and maybe the ship will right itself.  If we believe in them enough, I know we can make it happen.  

     Now, if you will excuse me, I have been neglecting my Walter all evening.