Milwaukee Brewers Predictions for 2013

Here at Reviewing the Brew, we do things a little differently. We aren’t the mundane flavor of ESPN and we don’t do slideshows about ridiculous things no one cares about. At RtB, we predict things like the rest of you, but our predictions come with a little kick…scratch that…they come with a David Beckham-meets-Pele kick.

Will the Polish Sausage really go winless in May? Mandatory Credit: Jerry Lai-USA TODAY Sports

Frankly, our fortune-telling skills are unusual. We don’t enjoy predicting scenarios that every other Brewers fan on the face of Wisconsin have already taken a shot at. We forecast the unique, the unpredictable, and the crazy.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Reviewing the Brew’s predictions for 2013.

 

1. Bob Uecker will mention Usinger sausages 2,916 times (world record?)

2. Hot dogs and brats will outsell beer (this will be a fight to the finish)

3. Jim Henderson will compete with John Axford for best facial hair

4. Mat Gamel will lead the team in home runs in April (he has six career home runs)

5. Aramis Ramirez will steal 4 bases (stole a career-high nine bases in 2012)

 

6. Starting rotation will have the most strikeouts in the MLB (fifth in the MLB last season)

7. Ron Roenicke will best last season’s total and be ejected 3 times (show some anger, Ron!)

8. Rickie Weeks will have a huge bounceback season, hitting .270 with 25 homers and swiping 20 bags (Comeback Player of the Year?)

9. Nyjer Morgan will attend a Brewers game wearing his Tony Plush helmet.

10. Bullpen will have one of the best ERAs in the National League (dead last in baseball in 2013)

 

11. Doug Melvin will not appear a single time at a Brewers game wearing a suit jacket

12. The Polish Sausage will not win a race in the entire month of May

13. John Axford will grow a beard (this would be a shocker)

14. A game at Miller Park will be delayed because the umpires will be too busy tweeting (damn you, social media)

15. Mike Fiers will hit a walk-off home run

Jean Segura has a lot to prove in 2013. Mandatory Credit: Joy R. Absalon-USA TODAY Sports

 

16. Carlos Gomez will outsteal Ryan Braun

17. Norichika Aoki will steal 40+ bases (30 last season)

18. Aramis Ramirez will charge the mound but be tackled by the catcher before he makes it

19. Yovani Gallardo will score the first Brewers run

20. Norichika Aoki will have double-digit infield hits

 

21. A Brewers player will win a Gold Glove (last Brewers Gold Glove Winner was Robin Yount in 1982)

22. The Brewers will finish over .500 in games played with the new gold jerseys (new uniforms usually mean bad luck)

23. Jean Segura will pull an unassisted triple play against, of course, the Cubs.

24. Marcus Hanel will be voted ‘Best Bullpen Catcher’ (first they have to create that award)

25. Jean Segura will lead the MLB in errors

 

26. Milwaukee will go on a 10-game winning streak in July, then lose 10 in a row in August.

27. The Brewers will not make any moves at the trade deadline.

28. Corey Hart will break his thumb in his first game back from knee surgery

29. John Axford will listen to Taylor Swift while entering the ninth inning.

30. Jonathan Lucroy will have his first 20 home run season.

 

What are your Milwaukee Brewers predictions for 2013? Leave comments and questions below! Follow Justin and @ReviewngTheBrew on Twitter. Be sure to like us on Facebook, too.

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Topics: Brewers Predictions, Milwaukee Brewers

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  • http://brewtalk.weebly.com/ Ike

    I wouldn’t mind Fiers hitting a walk-off home run – it would basically mean that he pitched a 0-0 or 1-1 game into the ninth and was still going strong enough for Roenicke to give him the 10th!

    I’d also take a whole bunch of games of 7 inning and 3 or fewer runs allowed for all of our starters!!!

    • Justin Schultz

      Thanks for the comment. Or the Brewers could play a 22 inning game and Fiers is the only player left to pinch-hit. But I like your scenario better.

      • http://brewtalk.weebly.com/ Ike

        I like that scenario too, but with a couple changes.

        1. 19th inning…
        2. Guy on third, less than 2 outs…
        3. Ground ball to third…
        4. Epic collapse…

        Poor, poor Pirates. Lol.

        • Justin Schultz

          Hopefully, the Brewers don’t suffer a excruciating collapse like that this year.

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