Mark Kotsay………………(fart noise)


Look, it is nothing personal.  I have read that Kotsay is a really nice guy.  My problem is not with this Mark, it’s with the bigger Mark.  Why do Attanasio and Melvin insist on signing guys who are passed their prime?  Now, I am glad that most of his $800,000 of his contract is performance based (supposedly, since there is no formal announcement yet), but why are we waisting money?  Where is this guy going to fit in?

     Last year he was a DH/1B for the White Sox.  How many games did Prince Fielder miss last year?  One.  He has only missed 13 games in the last five years!!  Do you think Kotsay is going to play in the outfield?  Am I really expected to believe that he will outplay Carlos Gomez, Chris Dickerson, Caleb Gindl, Logan Schafer, and Jeremy Reed for any outfield playing time.  That is about as likely as Charlie Sheen staying sober once he leaves rehab.  My hatred for this signing stems from our teams insistence on signing guys who have nothing left in the tank.  I read this article today about Jermaine Dye getting ready to retire.  Why on earth would we not at least try to add a guy who has some value in the outfield and a ton of value in the batters box?  We could have T-Bone, but instead we would rather have day old microwaved Hamburger Helper. 

     If the 2010 San Fransisco Giants taught me anything, it is that you need a young core with a sprinkling of talented veterans.  You see everyone, the key word in that last sentence was talented.  Mark Kotsay used to be a very talented utility guy, but that was when Lord of the Rings:Return of the King won Best Picture at the Oscars (2004, awesome movie).  In the last four seasons he has been sub-par at best, averaging just 3 HR’s and 17 RBI’s per summer.  Again, I would like to stress that my problem is not with Mark Kotsay.  This team does not need another 35 year old guy to ride the pine all summer.  Just another example of our management taking three steps forward and two steps back. 

     Should Mark Kotsay ever read this (doubtful).  I would like to welcome him to Milwaukee.  It would be great if he would prove me wrong.  In this scenario, nothing would make me happier than Mark shoving my words down my piehole.  But Mark, please know that this article was written out of confusion.  When you are a kid and you touch the top of the stove, you burn yourself.  From that day forward you never do it again…….unless you are Milwaukee Brewers management.  Quick list of the times they have burned their hands on the stove recently:    Damian Miller, Tomo Ohka, Corey Koskie, David Bell, Tony Graffanino, Geremi Gonzalez, Johnny Estrada, Jeff Suppan, Scott Linebrink, Chris Spurling, Ray King, Jason Kendall, Ray Durham, Mike Lamb, Brian Shouse, Jody Gerut, Braden Looper, David Weathers, Jim Edmonds, Gregg Zaun, Doug Davis, and LaTroy Hawkins.  You may be wondering where this list came from.  These are all of the players over the age of 30 that the Crew signed in free agency.  Almost all of them underperformed, or fell way short of expectations. 

We need Brewers management to start making ‘Big Boy’ decisions.  Who is with me?  Anybody………..

Here is some late editing:  Here are some other articles that show how silly this signing is:

Brew Crew Ball

The Brewers Bar   —  This one is just hilarious!

Call to the Pen  —  Fansided’s own Nathaniel Stoltz thinks this deal is pointless