At Odds With the Brewers

In just a few short hours, I will be hurtling headlong through the skies towards Las Vegas for a five day vacation. During this carefully crafted journey of self-destruction, I felt I would be remiss if I did not visit at least one sports book at some point and blow a bit of money on my beloved Milwaukee Brewers.

In preparation for this event, I looked up the odds for Milwaukee winning the World Series this year. I must say I was shocked by the results.

The Crew currently goes off at 100:1 to win it all in 2011. Currently, their odds to win the NL Pennant sit at 50:1. Even the Houston Astros, currently 16-29 with the second worst record in baseball have better odds (40:1) to go to the World Series than Milwaukee.

All this thought about odds and gambling made me want to create a few lines for you readers to take at home while I’m off losing all my money.  So this opens my completely illegitimate and fictional Brewers Sports Book, where I will take fictional (and I do stress fictional, in case the fuzz is watching) bets on pretty much anything related to the Brewers. Feel free to take a bet or set your own line in the comment section

OVER/UNDER Sausage Wins:

The Famous Sausage Races seemed like a good place to start our gambling journey, since I’m positive almost everyone bets on it during the game anyways.

Chorizo: 25 Let’s be honest, Milwaukee still isn’t ready to accept a Chorizo as season champion.

Bratwurst: 7 True Story: I’ve lost a grand total of about $50 betting with friends and family that this stupid Brat would win a race. Screw him.

Hot Dog: 40 Pro Tip: Smart Money’s on the Hot Dog, he’s the season leader in wins right now.

Italian Sausage: 19 Though his giant chef hat, curly black hair and funny mustache are charmingly stereotypical, I feel they might not aerodynamically suited for racing success.

Polish Sausage: 30 Polish always makes his move in the late part of the race, so look for him to pull an upset or two this year.

OVER/UNDER Miscellaneous

John Axford Saves: 40 He tossed 24 saves last season in 27 appearances. Thus far in 2011, he is 12 for 14. Take the over, you won’t regret it

Prince Fielder Home Runs: 40 Prince is averaging 40.4 Home Runs a seasons right now, and this is a contract year for him. Right now he is right on pace to hit 40 dingers in 2011, but he has been known to get on a streak. Smart money might be on the over in this case.

Bill Schroeder Knowing the Tavern of the Game: 75 For those who don’t watch the games regularly on FSN, you will probably be a little lost here. The Tavern of the Game is a Brewers Promotion where a bar in Wisconsin is mentioned by the broadcast, and if a representative calls the Brewers, they get free tickets. I figured since about 140 games (give or take) are broadcast on FSN, that would be the number of Taverns mentioned. Rock has personally visited almost every Tavern of the Game. This should be more upsetting than it is. I’d take the over.

Miller Park Hawk Kills: 5 Everyone knows something about the Miller Park Hawk by now. If not, check it out here, and also follow him on twitter @MillerParkHawk. You will not regret it. (Also Follow me while you’re at it. [SHAMELESS PLUG])

FUTURES: Player Performance

3:2 – John Lucroy Makes the All-Star Team I’ll just come right out and say it: If Jonathan Lucroy is not an All-Star, the terrorists win. As of right now, Johnathan Lucroy is still the team leader in batting average, and he is the second-best catcher in the Major Leagues in almost every category, behind Ramon Hernandez of Cincinnati. Odds are Lucroy will be on the All-Star Roster, hence the low odds.

10:1 – Ryan Braun Wins the NL MVP Brauny is basically in the top ten of every offensive category in the National League right now, including being a leader in Home Runs and Total Bases. If he keeps on this pace, he ought to be a shoo-in for the prize.  Unfortunately these odds are conditional upon the success of the Milwaukee Brewers this season, because I don’t think Major League Baseball is in the habit of giving awards out to 4th place finishers.

15:1 – The Brewers End 2011 With 90+ Wins Go ahead, call me crazy if you want. I know the season has been more down than up so far, but this is a very real possibility still. The hitting is coming alive, albeit slowly, and the pitching continues to be outstanding. Not to mention the fact that our second half of the season looks very easy (all things considered in May). This may be the first time in a long time that the Brewers actually perform better after the All-Star Break.

16:1 – McGehee and Weeks end May with 10 errors each Casey and Rickie both have six errors already this season, and they have set the pace for nearly 40 errors each in 2011. Lord knows I hope this doesn’t happen, but I wouldn’t be a very good bookie if I didn’t try to capitalize on it.

2400:1 – Mark Kotsay Wins the MVP I figured if everything was equal on everyone’s 40 man roster, you have about a 1 in 1200 chance to win the MVP on any given year. Seeing as how everything is not, and Mark is about twice the average age of a Major League Player, I simply doubled Kotsay’s chances. I know it’s a long shot, but what do you have to lose?

That’s all I have for right now, because I’m too busy trying to learn how craps works and how the hell you can have a money line on a run line. You folks are good though, and I trust you can come up with some equally (or possibly greater) awesome bets to take in the comments section. Good luck Brewers Fans!