Things We Will Take for K-Rod
By Lou Olsen
Now if you follow myself, or any of the other staff writers of Reviewing the Brew, you will know that we have secretly been trying to start an underground movement amongst the Brew Crew faithful. In all movements, things must come to a head. Once they do, it becomes more than just a movement, it becomes a revolution. The key to a revolution, is for a small idea to take on a larger audience. At which time, it becomes a phenomenon.
It’s phenomenon time folks!!!
Yesterday afternoon’s calamity (that word can only be used in the most pathetic of situations) has sent me over the edge and I can not take it any more. If you saw what I saw, you are probably ready to see the end of the K-Rod era in Milwaukee. What if I told you, there might be a way…
The staff of RtB has kept this little joke to ourselves long enough. It is time for it to take on a life of it’s own.
So, I have asked a few members of our talented (and sexy) staff, to provide me with 5 things that they would take in a trade for Francisco Rodriguez (K-Rod). I have not given them any guidelines, restrictions, or direction. These are simply things we would accept in a trade, if we were Doug Melvin.
If you have some of your own, let us hear them in the “Comments” section!!
– Brett Favre
– A half eaten pizza WITH anchovies
– Rare, but fake, Pokemon cards
– An Angry Bird (I Asked later if he meant a plush one from the game, or an actual irritated bird, he said “Either way”)
– Jeff Suppan‘s fastball
– Derrick Turnbow Bobblehead hair
– Having to take the ACT again
– A bottle of spoiled secret stadium sauce
– The OTHER Francisco Rodriguez
– GETTING BLOCKED AGAIN BY TOM HAUDRICOURT
– Mark Kotsay (I am not on board with this one…and you all should know that)
– A Lisa Frank notepad filled with random musings from Skip Bayless
– A badger with a hernia
– Craig Counsell as a bullpen coach
– An enormous bottle of cheap bourbon
– A can of red Fanta, two generic aspirin, and a half-eaten pickle
– A Mike Tyson punch in the man parts
– An electric eel powered bath tub
– An organic, gluten free, sugar free, dairy free, chocolate chip cookie
– A used retainer, circa 1993
– A signed Def Leppard album
– Two tickets to Magic Mike, in IMAX…3-D…
– A tattoo of the Canadian flag on my left butt cheek
– Curt’s Cross Country shorts, unwashed
– An Eric Gagne statue outside of Miller Park
Ok, that is enough fun for one day. Now I want to hear yours. Surely we can not be the only Brewers fans who are willing to take any offer for this guy. There are no rules or restrictions, other than you should remember that kids read this site from time to time so….just…you know.