Lou’s Brewers Banalities


Jean Segura is the sheriff of sucktown right now, with no challengers in sight. Photo: Jeff Curry-USA TODAY Sports

Welcome to the 3rd installment of Brewers Banalities.  If you are joining us a little late, here is what you have missed…

"If you are not sure what exactly a banality is, it is just a fancy way of saying “old news” or “cliché”.  Essentially, once a month I am going to lay out a couple of Brewers issues or topics that may be a little played out, but then I will give them my spin.  I have been told that my spin is sometimes stupid, uneducated, and even immature."

That should just about sum it up.

I wanted to keep this segment fresh though, so with the Summer Movie season in full swing…the theme this month is “Movies”.

A lot has happened over the past month, so let’s get to it.

Rickie Weeks’ Bogus Journey

I know that many of you are Weeks sympathizers, but this has gone on long enough and it was way past time for Roenicke to do something.  Yes, Weeks leads the team in walks.  Yes, his OBP is still in the upper 200’s.  But what else is there to promote him staying at 2nd base on an everyday basis?  If this was anyone other than Rickie Weeks, I feel like we would have run him out-of-town by now.  His batting average is .168, he has 51 strikeouts, and he only has 2 more hits than walks (25 hits and 23 walks).  It would be irresponsible for a team that is in last place to continue to watch a multi-million dollar player go up there to swing at moths and mosquitoes.  Add to his 2013 resume his 5 errors, which is already a third of his total from all of last season.  At this point Weeks has to split time with Jeff Bianchi, there is no other option.  Weeks has no one to blame but himself, his horrible play forced RRR’s hand.  His crusty, unmoisturized hands.  At this point I see no reason why Scooter Gennett will not be making his MLB debut in September.  Total bummer R-Dub’s.   

The A-Ram Rises

Never thought I would say this…but I am so glad that Aramis Ramirez is back.  Until he came back to the lineup, not a single Brewer had homered out of the clean-up spot.  Since his return, he has hit 3 HR’s and driven in 12 runs, while batting .328 (as of Tuesday May 21st).  Even though Yuni B. did a commendable job filling in, we can all see now that his flash of excellence was simply that…a flash.  Ramirez has also taken some pressure off of Ryan Braun, which is evident when you look at Braun’s decrease in strikeouts over the past couple of weeks.  Even though Ramirez has made a significant impact, the team still finds themselves circling the toilet bowl faster and faster each day.  Thankfully, Ramirez is not the reason for the current turd trajectory we are on.  He is the White Knight of our Gotham. 

Kyle Lohse: Into Darkness

In my opinion, Kyle Lohse is the best pitcher on this staff.  So why is he 1-5 with a 3.76 ERA?  I don’t know the answer to that question.  The obvious answer is run support, but I think it goes deeper than that.  Perhaps the universe is displeased with him over his weird little soul patch.  If this is the case, I believe that it is time for him to follow in the long and historic line…of Brewers mustaches.  Without the power of the stache, the team will never know that he means business.  They are so used to seeing that soul patch wearing Cardinal red, that they cannot overcome the desire to see him lose.  Therefore, the only true solution is to change the teams’ perception.  Easiest way to accomplish this, Lohse needs to get to work on that lip sweater.  It is the only way for him to rise from the darkness…

Blake Lalli Up in Smoke

Blake Lalli was sent down to Triple- A last week to make room for the Wrath of K-Rod and the Return of Jeff Bianchi.  If the news would not have been reported, I probably would not have noticed that he was gone.  Lalli now joins the long list of players who made the roster based on Spring Training play, only to be cast aside later in the season: Erick Almonte, Brandon Boggs, Jody Gerut, and Frank Catalanotto…to name a few.  Not a very elite class.  Will we see Lalli again?  Probably not.  Will you miss him?  Don’t know…do you miss Erick Almonte? 

Who is Harry Crumb, err Alex Gonzalez?

A soon to be unemployed infielder, that’s who.  My guess is that when Corey Hart comes back in June, Gonzalez is going the way of Old Yeller.  Let’s not dance around this topic like a bunch of prima-ballerina’s…he is terrible.  Can’t hit and can’t play defense.  Veteran leadership will only get you so far, unless your name is Mark Kotsay.

Segura Unchained

This will be a short banality, because Jean Segura is a monster.  Not only is he a living, breathing highlight reel, but he also swings the stick with the fire and fury of a thousand Django’s (.355 BA, .397 OBP, 7 HR’s, 20 RBI’s, and 14 stolen bases…as of May 21st).  If you guessed that my next Brewers jersey will have the #9 on it, you guessed correctly. 

The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly

Well the last month has had almost nothing good, but there has been plenty of bad and ugly.  As of this morning (05/23) the team is 9-23 since the last Brewers Banalities installment.  Essentially, they have won 9 games in the past month.  That is so bad that I am pretty sure Clint Eastwood would rather team up with an orangutan then the Brewers.  As of the time I am writing this last pod of LBB, we are 9 games under .500 and 11.5 games behind the Cardinals in the NL Central.  We also have the same record as the Chicago Cubs.  Allow this information to settle in…I can wait…Ok, now at what point do heads start to roll?  I can admit that I never thought the team would be in the chase for the division, but I also did not think that only the Mets and Marlins would have a worse record through 2 months of the season.  Who do we, as fans, hold accountable for this?  Mark Attanasio, Doug Melvin, Ron Roenicke, Rick Kranitz, the guy selling hot dogs in section 423, who?   Here is the rub, if I was performing this poorly at my job…I would be getting fired.  Wouldn’t you?