Why I Hate Major League Baseball Today


Even Ike Davis doesn’t believe that he could be traded for Ryan Braun. Photo: Brad Penner-USA TODAY Sports

Many of you will read the headline and immediately not care.  I understand that, I really do.  Normally I would not even conceive of writing something like this, but so much happened yesterday to fill me with spite and malice that I could ignore my feelings no further.  Yesterday I was disappointed on so many levels that I am not sure I will even be able to get through this without popping a blood vessel in my eye.  The truth is my therapist was unavailable to talk with me this week, so you will all have to deal with my neurosis and shaky logic.  Sorry about it.Quick Clarification: The word “Today” in the title refers to this day specifically, not in the broad sense of the word.

There were three stories yesterday that drove me to the verge of swearing off baseball forever.  I am going to start with the one that hits closest to home, so that way anyone who stops caring at that point can move on to another article…or go back to work, either way.

Ryan Braun for Ike Davis Trade

This nonsense broke from a NY Mets blog.  In the article they stated that someone from the Brewers organization had said the odds of a Braun for Davis trade were higher than a Nori Aoki for Davis trade.  Now, this rumor was squashed thoroughly this morning, but that does not change the fact that it existed at all.  I can say, with total confidence that if the Brewers traded Ryan Braun for Ike Davis I may have sworn off the Brewers forever.  Look, Braun may be a lying, cheating, back-stabbing, hussy faced, turd eating, life ruining, snake in the grass, d-bag…but he is an infinitely better baseball player than Ike Davis.  The prospect of trading a League MVP for a slightly better version of Juan Francisco is beyond insanity…it is P90-X (this Tony Horton joke working for anyone?).  But what bothered me even more was the fact that an Aoki for Davis deal was also mentioned.  What?!?!  I would rather keep Aoki and Braun, and then try to sign Corey Hart or James Loney.  Ike Davis is a below average baseball player and he is not worth any of our above average outfielders, unless you count Logan Schafer.  The Mets can have that guy…for free. 

I am fully aware that this was just a rumor and nothing more, but since it didn’t come from Buster Olney I have to assume that there was some basis for this article (which I will not link because I do not want that site to benefit from my mental breakdown).  That is what made me crazy.  The fact that someone within the Brewers organization made any sort of comment about such a deal is soul crushing.  Now it could have been the box office manager for all I know, but deep inside me I know that such a deal was at least breached in conversation and that was a very painful pill to swallow.

The Prince Fielder Trade     

Even before I start ranting, you may be confused as to why this has me all pissed off.  Here is why.  I believe that this was a pre-meditated move by the Tigers from the day they signed Prince to that RIDICULOUS contract.  When Prince left for Detroit, the Tigers already knew that Victor Martinez was going to miss all of 2012.  They needed a first baseman and they still believed that they could get to a World Series, so they hatched a plan: We keep Fielder until we know that Martinez will be back at 100%, and then we trade him for something we really need.  Yesterday, the plan came to fruition and now Ian Kinsler fills a need for the Tigers at 2nd base.  Then when you consider that the way Prince’s contract is now set up, the Rangers are getting him for 7 years and $138M.  For those of you following along at home, that is less than $20M a season, which is what the Brewers offered to Prince before he took the deal in Detroit.  In my mind, the Tigers manipulated the system for a short-term gain and Prince fell for it because he only cared about the money.  Part of me is sad for him because he genuinely believed that he would finish his career in a Tigers uniform, but the other part of me does not feel bad at all…in fact, it kind of serves him right.  This is just another example of a small market team getting screwed by baseball not having a salary cap.  Prince made big bucks for two seasons and now he will make less than what the Brewers would have paid him.  Disgusting.  Hate hate HATE!!!

Alex Rodriguez vs. Bud Selig

This went from something I was looking forward to, to being the most irritating and pointless thing that has ever happened to baseball.  Bud Selig’s PED/steroid witch hunt is down to one last witch and it is the biggest and baddest of them all.  A man who has lied about steroids repeatedly over his career, only to confess one day out of the blue.  Alex Rodriguez makes Jose Canseco look like a national treasure. 

It all started when two grown men got into a bidding battle over medical records, once the BioGenesis scandal began to emerge.  For those of you playing the home game, it is still illegal in this country to purchase medical records…I looked it up.  How Bud Selig is not in prison for this, is beyond any form of comprehension I possess.  That aside, yesterday was to be their final showdown.  A-Rod would be defending himself against the big bad wolf.  Only problem was, the big bad wolf was never going to show up in the first place.  When A-Rod realized that his goose was cooked, he displayed some of the worst acting I have seen from an athlete since Dan Marino in ‘Ace Ventura’.  Not only was his entire walk-out and tirade staged, but I am starting to think this whole hearing was staged.  This morning the MLB Network said that the hearing will probably conclude either today or tomorrow now that Rodriguez will not be testifying.  Let’s be real with each other, A-Rod never stood a chance.  Bud Selig is determined to make him the poster boy for all that is wrong with baseball and he is doing a bang-up job.  Yet, the fact that Selig is not even going to show up for his coup de gras just goes to show that he has no respect for any justice system that does not suit his needs and wants.  Bud Selig may have brought the Brewers to Milwaukee, but I have no respect for that man.  It’s not like he is some angel.  Selig has been to court for collusion with other team owners in the 1980’s, there are multiple instances of him abusing his power (see Kenny Rogers, 2005), he lied to Congress about the year he became aware of steroids in baseball (initially he said he had not heard of it until the late 90’s, but he filed a petition in 1994 to start testing), and as recently as 2011 Selig was involved in blocking a tv deal which would have allowed Frank McCourt to continue his ownership of the LA Dodgers. 

Neither of these gentlemen deserves your respect, but I was sure looking forward to them bare-knuckle boxing each other in a semi-court of law.  Now it would appear as though we will be robbed of this glorious moment in baseball history and it makes me irate.  At this point both of them should just play “Who can strap the most concrete to themselves, then jump into a body of water”.

Rodriguez may never play again once his suspension goes through and Bud Selig will be gone after next season.   Maybe if they bring back Celebrity Boxing, I will get the chance to see them face-off…but for now I am stuck watching A-Rod do his best Vin Diesel impersonation (get it, because Vin Diesel is a bad actor?) and Bud Selig do his best impression of a mentally challenged turtle.

In closing, I am sure my rage will fade with time, but today…November 21st of 2013, I hate Major League Baseball.