Milwaukee Brewers: What if they brawl with the Reds, Pirates, Cubs, or Cardinals?

BOSTON, MA - APRIL 11: Tyler Austin
BOSTON, MA - APRIL 11: Tyler Austin /
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Major League baseball left the Milwaukee area after the 1965 season when the Braves moved to Atlanta. For five years, Milwaukee and Wisconsin had no team representing them at the MLB level.

Some fans followed their favorite players from the Milwaukee Braves era and became fans of the Atlanta Braves. Others, more beholden to proximity rule than individual players, became Chicago Cubs fans.

Major League Baseball returned to Milwaukee in 1970 with the Milwaukee Brewers. But what were fans to do. Some fans had invested themselves in the Braves, some the Cubs.

Because of this unique history, many people in the Milwaukee area at least held a soft-spot for the Cubs even if their proximity values led them to become more loyal to the Brewers starting in 1970.

So what happens if a brawl busts out on the field in 2018? An intense battle of wills we puny-brained plebeians of sport observation pain to foresee.

For those bold enough to gaze into the crystal, the sight is brutal. Imagine trying to break-up a brawl between tag-teams such as Thames and Aguilar versus Anthony Rizzo and Kris Bryant? How about big Matt Albers and stocky Kyle Schwarber?

Even if it comes down to coaches, this one seems like a wash. Sedar can throw one heck of a slap, but who knows what the creative mind of Joe Maddon could come up with for a situation such as a brawl with the Milwaukee Brewers?

Only the most prolific practitioners of visualization can imagine the end of this one.

Remember that black cat in Chicago? Cubs fans do. In 1969, some believe a bizarre incident with a black cat cursed the Cubs.

What if the Cubs kept that cat and used its powers against the Brewers in a brawl!? The cat incident happened the final year before baseball returned to Milwaukee and reclaimed fans from the Cubs. What does that have to do with all of this? Who knows? It’s in the crystal!

Just when all things seem bleak for the Brewers, they would come with their own four-legged fiend. How does one counter a cat? A dog, of course!

Hank, the ballpark pup saves the day for the Brewers. After chasing that cat off the field, Hank would take over the brawl. Not even a Cubs player would harm a cute little fellow like Hank.

After a battle resembling Ramsay Bolton versus Jon Snow from Game of Thrones, or the Battle of Hornburg/Helm’s Deep from the Lord of the Rings series for those of us a little older, or the great battle at Babylon from 1916’s Intolerance for anyone reading this about to turn 120 years old, Hank the ballpark pup would become the difference in a win for the Brewers.