Greinke Day Is Here At Last!!!!!!
By Lou Olsen
Let us all raise our perfectly chilled Miller Lite aluminum pint’s in joy. Greinke will finally take the mound in game 2 of today’s double-header. It feels like just yesterday that Shaq Greinke went up for the “Rebound heard ’round the world”. Thankfully we can put that behind us and look towards the future. That is, if the offense can wake up.
Speaking of waking up, I can not believe that I missed this. You can blame me for sleeping on the job (get it, it’s a pun), but who gets put on the DL for a sleeping disorder? Well, I have the answer, Zach Braddock. Ron Roenicke confirmed that this was not a joke:
"This is a real thing. He’s been seeing doctors and having testing for 10 days. The testing confirmed it is a sleep disorder."
Are these sleeping disorders contagious? Based on the Brewers past 3 games, I would venture to say that sleeping disorders are tearing this team apart. To only score 3 runs in 27 innings, that leads me to believe someone is spiking the Gatorade with Lunesta!!! Stop chasing that green butterfly and play baseball!!!!
Another question I have is, are there more sleep disorders than insomnia? Would anyone classify sleep walking as a disorder? I know my grandpa had sleep apnea, but that was because he was over weight, Braddock looks pretty healthy to me. My buddy Brad was a sleep walker, who coincidentally could pee while sleep walking…that is a story for another time.
Why is the team being so hush-hush about this sleeping disorder? I want answers before it spreads to the entire team. Let’s get out some hazmat suits and get to the bottom of this ASAP. Maybe this is the beginning of a zombie outbreak, who knows? What I do know, is that when a man gets put on the DL for a sleep disorder while the rest of the team appears to be sleep walking, there is something strange going on.
ZackAttack is back!!! It will be nice to see some dividends finally. For those of you who do not know, Alcides Escobar is playing amazing baseball for the Royals right now. In just 29 games this season, he already has a career’s worth of defensive highlights. Having said that, his bat is still nothing worth writing about. Up to this point though, I would say the Royals got the better deal. Today could change that. Maybe I am being overly optimistic, but I have seriously been waiting for this day since before Christmas. Haven’t you?
Most projections still have Greinke winning 15 games this season, even though he missed the entire month of April. Now, I am a realist. Zack can not win games if the team does not score runs. That is science. If he pitches 8 games and gives up 3 runs per game (give or take), we need to be scoring at least 4 runs a game. Last season, this would have been no problem. However, this team is having an uncharacteristically hard time scoring runs. Now granted, they are averaging 4.3 runs per game, but that is not going to be enough it seems (accept for in my Greinke scenario, then it would be enough).
Ok, the first game of today’s two-fer just started with a bang. Weeks and Morgan both struck out swinging and Braun popped out. I can only hope that Estrada can go out there and keep the Braves in check.
If you love mustaches and missed yesterday’s article, 4 Fast 4 JAMF, check it out. You will not regret it…or maybe you will. Hard to say. I know that the “Ax Man” himself gave it his seal of approval.
Enjoy both games everyone. I will chat with you all a little later on this evening. I will be completely entrenched in “The Greinke”, so if you try to talk with me…I promise nothing.
Let’s send out those sweet sweet vibes to our Crew!! Go Brewers!!