Happy Super Bowl Eve everyone!! When I was first brought to this site as a contributor, I had this ridiculous idea. This idea was to show my appreciation to the guys who came up with Chuck Norris Facts. It also involved my new found love for Brewers closer, John Axford……and his mustache. From those two devices, I created John Axford Mustache Facts. The first entry of John Axford’s mustache facts , really just explained my fascination with Ax’s mustache (all mustaches really).
In the second entry of Axford Mustaceh facts, I took every one on an exciting journey with my adventurous brother-in-law Snick. Mostly, I just ripped off Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark. I wanted to make the mustache more mystical and magical, plus the Indiana Jones trilogy was on TV that weekend. My decision to reveal the next 15 Axford mustache facts in this fashion was nothing short of self-indulgent. The next question, what could I possibly due to build more mystique around our closers mustache?
Look, if you read this blog, the odds are pretty solid that you are also a Packers fan. If you are not a Pack fanatic, then let me catch you up to speed. The Green Bay Packers are playing in the Super Bowl tomorrow. The Super Bowl is one of the most magical………….the most m-a-g-i-c-a-l time of the year. I got it!!!!
Ladies and Gentlemen, in honor of the Packers magical trip to the Super Bowl. May I present for your viewing pleasure, John Axford’s Magical Mustache Facts:
John Axford’s Magical Mustache Facts:
– John Axford’s Mustache knows a spell to control the weather in Exeland, WI. Population: 212
– John Axford’s Mustache rolls a 20 in Dungeon’s and Dragon’s……every time
– John Axford’s Mustache inspired Gandalf to grow his beard for Lord of the Rings
– John Axford’s Mustache knows all the words to ‘Black Magic Woman’ by Santana
– John Axford’s Mustache used to be David Blaine’s beautiful assistant
– John Axford’s Mustache already knows that this is your card
– John Axford’s Mustache supports wand control laws
– John Axford’s mustache does not need an invisibility cloak, he wants to be seen
– John Axford’s Mustache has had two bio-pics made about his life, ‘Fantasia’ and ‘Fantasia 2000’
– John Axford’s Mustache can fly because he always thinks happy thoughts
– John Axford’s Mustache can’t talk to snakes, but he can talk to a change up
– John Axford’s Mustache was salutatorian of his witchcraft and wizardry school, that damn Criss Angel
– John Axford’s Mustache once pretended to like the TV show ‘Charmed’ to impress a girl
– John Axford’s Mustache does not condone the use of magical mushrooms
– John Axford’s Mustache has been to the Magic Kingdom, he was unimpressed
We now have 45 John Axford Mustache Facts in the bank. Hopefully you all have enjoyed this magical edition, in honor of the magic that is the NFL Championship. To any and all Packer fans, I hope that tomorrow is as beautiful as I dreamed it would be. My truest hope is that the Packers success this season carries over to the boys of summer. Can you picture it, a Packers Super Bowl win and a Brewers World Series victory. Hopefully, these magical facts will get the magic juices flowing for both teams.
Go Pack Go!!!!